Joshua Topolsky

My new favorite internet personality. Note his “crappy iPhone” from 2003, Samsung iPhone, LG iPhone, his “personal emails,” and the “movie about Hitler” three-quarters of the way through. I love this guy.

P.S. : Don’t zoom in on my nose please.

You know, I don’t update this blog as often as I should. It’s just, after a day of blogging, one doesn’t immediately reach for the blog control and blog writing instrument and blog fellows and blog dictionary and begin typing a secret message into one’s blog — does one?

But more to the point, is people reading this thing anyway? I suppose I’ll know when my poor grammar is corrected by a load of dedicated joshuatopolsky.com readers. Like my wife.

I had a thought recently, concerning music. My thought is thus: an almost-instant response in my mind when I hear a new song I like is: “I’m going to be bored of this song after 10 listens.” I know it sounds doom and gloom, but I have to admit it, my brain doesn’t want to like anything it doesn’t already like! This is a sign of old age, I know, which is how my parents, who grew up during the birth of rock n’ roll, the peace movement, the American civil rights jig, and a slew of other beautiful, meaningful, music-creating incidents only want to listen to Frank Sinatra. To be fair, I think my mother owns a few Taylor Dayne albums. So I guess it is possible to learn to like new music, it will just be festering garbage.

The long and short of it is that I’m slowing down, getting gray, and thinking about a place in the country where my babies can run, screaming through the fields, the blur of our red farmhouse beside them, and a dangerous highway nearby. I may have just experienced a sense-memory of the film Pet Sematary, but we can never know for sure.

Watch your Achille’s heel, friends.

It looks like we’ve got ourselves a real war of words over in Engadget comments.

After Ryan’s review of the new Zunes, our Microsoft friendly readership decided to have a group conniption fit and call for Mr. Block’s head, er… on a block.

Adding insult to their deep-level injuries, Walt Mossberg (an old bat, out of touch Apple fanboy no young computer user could possibly identify with — say the commenters) produced a similarly-minded review, much to the chagrin of our crossover forum readers from Zunerama, Zunescene, and of course, Microsoft Zune himself.

Most of the hate-filled rhetoric comes in the form of, “Ryan Block’s pockets are lined with Apple money,” “Ryan better leave Engadget while he still can,” and my favorite, “If Ryan Block can’t take the heat, he shouldn’t write for a blog.”

All truly educated and insightful points — if you’re 14 — but the fact remains that Ryan had every right to state his opinion (as did Mossberg), and I can’t think of two people more qualified to give an unbiased, honest opinion of a device. Ryan kills — and I mean kills — when it comes to getting scoops, news, and reviews for the readers of Engadget. He (and we, collectively) don’t do it just to big-up ourselves and get rich off of Apple kickbacks. We do it because we love technology, and love sharing that technology with readers (it doesn’t hurt that we get to play with new stuff before it’s out, either).

Throughout my life I’ve owned and used just about every computer platform you can think of, and when I joined Engadget a short while ago, I found the crew of people there to be some of the most open-minded and unbiased cats I’d ever met. The constant cries of fanyboyism (from both the Mac and PC camps) couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is this: everyone at Engadget just wants the best technology, the best software, and the best user experience — and we want the same for our readers. If we take the time to write about a product, and the end result is negative, it’s because as super-dedicated nerds, we’ve been let down in some way.

Take a look at Ryan’s review of the iPhone — he flat-out trashes components of the device. Is that what you think an Apple fanboy’s review of the most important product the company has ever released should look like?

The hard truth for Microsoft sycophants to accept is this: Ballmer, Gates, and co. have not been in the habit of releasing very compelling or worthwhile technology, and that’s been the case for a long, long time. We get super excited when they announce new products, and we cover those products as fervently as we do anything else, but the problem doesn’t lie with our like or dislike for Microsoft as an entity — it lies with their inability to pull off consumer electronics with the kind of panache that Apple and others do. We’re not going to pretend to see something that isn’t there. Apple makes plenty of mistakes, but they make a lot of other good (or even great) decisions — and that’s what earns them praise from us… just like any other product that gets it right.

The venom from readers over these reviews not only seem overblown, misplaced, and unnecessary, but mean-spirited in a way that serves to dilute people’s arguments — to the point of making them downright meaningless. If you can’t get a handle on your emotions, figure out the truly important points, and make your case in a calm and intelligent manner, you don’t deserve the right to broadcast your cruel nonsense on Engadget.

Allowing people to comment on posts is a favor to the readers, not a God-given right for all internet citizens. We love hearing what people have to say, but that doesn’t mean we’ll tolerate any level of bullshit to keep a few fanatics happy.

But hey, that’s just my opinion.

If you haven’t already had the good fortune of stumbling upon Pac-Gentleman while whittling away your 70% of free time at work, enjoy. Above is the work of one Doktor A, a clearly talented artist with steampunk/DIY/retro leanings. If you were worried the good joke didn’t go far enough, a chap named Scott did some ROM tinkering and produced a playable version of the game, replete with handlebar-mustached Blinky and Plinky, plus the inimitable Pac-Gentleman himself in a dashing bowler hat, as seen below.

Via MAKE

Terrific review of Robert Draper’s Dead Certain — a Bush biography — by Anthony Lewis in the Times this weekend. Just more fuel for the fire, but a good read nonetheless. Laura says she wants the book, I worry about the resale value.

It’s my birthday. I’m 30 today. It’s a pretty exciting time for me. I’ve developed classy, manly laugh lines and slight wrinkles, my hair has become a salt and pepper, less-than George Clooney more-than Jake Gyllenhaal hue, and I’ve discovered a deep reserve of wisdom and clarity which only comes with time and patience. My clothing now fits perfectly, I am able to grow a beard within a week, and I always know what time it is thanks to my mature, Tag-Hauer watch, which I intend to pass down to my first son, thus starting a rich tradition which will carry on through the ages for the first born males in my family.

And it’s not just the fluffy stuff, either. Politics are now important to me since I’ve turned 30. I worry about social security, and I’m ready to fight for our American values and way of life. I’ve started buying the good cognac, and I’m eying a new set of clubs. I sip drinks rather than chug, and I’m always keen to dole out helpful advice to my younger, unmarried, and less experienced friends. I’m looking forward to mentoring a young businessman, and perhaps connecting with a Little Brother that I can sponsor and spend time with.

As a 30-year-old man, I’ve come to appreciate the finer things, learned to spend time on the details, and always own my mistakes. I look forward to an ever-expanding, unyielding vista of experience over my next 30 years, which will undoubtedly lead me to another, more astounding set of revelations about life and love — revelations which I plan on sharing as loudly and often as possible.

A good, semi-long read. Interesting stuff.

Glad I don’t work at Balthazar.