Joshua Topolsky

I think we all need to take a step back and seriously review our habit and capacity for excusing ourselves. We do it in our personal lives, we do it with public figures, and eventually we’re all going to be royally screwed if we don’t get it in check.

Case in point: the health of Steve Jobs and its supposed effect on the health of Apple.

It appears that some people are so aghast at the thought of Apple — the company — screwing something up, that they’re all too happy to just explain it away as an unfortunate side effect of its CEO’s supposedly-precarious physical condition.

Look, I’m not saying that the man isn’t crucial to the operation and success of the company, but to blame problems with firmware 2.0, MobileMe, iPhone 3G supply, and the hard northern winds that have been battering Alabama on Jobs alone might be going a bit too far.

To me, it seems to represent the fanboy’s last resort in explaining away what is simply obvious and true: Apple isn’t perfect. Not its products, its employees, or its ability to pull off a three-way, one day launch. Look, they fucked up, okay? It’s not Steve’s battle with cancer that causes my MobileMe mail account to become randomly inaccessible, and his strange diet isn’t making my iPhone’s keyboard lag and stutter when I’m sending a text message.

Am I to believe that a weak, sickly Steve Jobs just can’t muster up the strength to bellow orders at his minions, or is it actually more likely that his minions are being hit by a demand for their product that they’ve been hitherto unfamiliar with? Let’s be honest: not a single American waited a whole day in line for a Macintosh LC.

So let’s stop with the excuses — and the excusing — before it’s too late. I don’t want to have to explain away every shitty product to my beautiful future children by telling them the president of the company had too bad of a cold to crack the whip.

My new favorite internet personality. Note his “crappy iPhone” from 2003, Samsung iPhone, LG iPhone, his “personal emails,” and the “movie about Hitler” three-quarters of the way through. I love this guy.

P.S. : Don’t zoom in on my nose please.

It looks like we’ve got ourselves a real war of words over in Engadget comments.

After Ryan’s review of the new Zunes, our Microsoft friendly readership decided to have a group conniption fit and call for Mr. Block’s head, er… on a block.

Adding insult to their deep-level injuries, Walt Mossberg (an old bat, out of touch Apple fanboy no young computer user could possibly identify with — say the commenters) produced a similarly-minded review, much to the chagrin of our crossover forum readers from Zunerama, Zunescene, and of course, Microsoft Zune himself.

Most of the hate-filled rhetoric comes in the form of, “Ryan Block’s pockets are lined with Apple money,” “Ryan better leave Engadget while he still can,” and my favorite, “If Ryan Block can’t take the heat, he shouldn’t write for a blog.”

All truly educated and insightful points — if you’re 14 — but the fact remains that Ryan had every right to state his opinion (as did Mossberg), and I can’t think of two people more qualified to give an unbiased, honest opinion of a device. Ryan kills — and I mean kills — when it comes to getting scoops, news, and reviews for the readers of Engadget. He (and we, collectively) don’t do it just to big-up ourselves and get rich off of Apple kickbacks. We do it because we love technology, and love sharing that technology with readers (it doesn’t hurt that we get to play with new stuff before it’s out, either).

Throughout my life I’ve owned and used just about every computer platform you can think of, and when I joined Engadget a short while ago, I found the crew of people there to be some of the most open-minded and unbiased cats I’d ever met. The constant cries of fanyboyism (from both the Mac and PC camps) couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is this: everyone at Engadget just wants the best technology, the best software, and the best user experience — and we want the same for our readers. If we take the time to write about a product, and the end result is negative, it’s because as super-dedicated nerds, we’ve been let down in some way.

Take a look at Ryan’s review of the iPhone — he flat-out trashes components of the device. Is that what you think an Apple fanboy’s review of the most important product the company has ever released should look like?

The hard truth for Microsoft sycophants to accept is this: Ballmer, Gates, and co. have not been in the habit of releasing very compelling or worthwhile technology, and that’s been the case for a long, long time. We get super excited when they announce new products, and we cover those products as fervently as we do anything else, but the problem doesn’t lie with our like or dislike for Microsoft as an entity — it lies with their inability to pull off consumer electronics with the kind of panache that Apple and others do. We’re not going to pretend to see something that isn’t there. Apple makes plenty of mistakes, but they make a lot of other good (or even great) decisions — and that’s what earns them praise from us… just like any other product that gets it right.

The venom from readers over these reviews not only seem overblown, misplaced, and unnecessary, but mean-spirited in a way that serves to dilute people’s arguments — to the point of making them downright meaningless. If you can’t get a handle on your emotions, figure out the truly important points, and make your case in a calm and intelligent manner, you don’t deserve the right to broadcast your cruel nonsense on Engadget.

Allowing people to comment on posts is a favor to the readers, not a God-given right for all internet citizens. We love hearing what people have to say, but that doesn’t mean we’ll tolerate any level of bullshit to keep a few fanatics happy.

But hey, that’s just my opinion.