Joshua Topolsky

It’s taken a little while to get it together, but two of the most insipid creations in modern memory — lastnightsparty and poseur rap / rock / crap — have joined together. Finally I can hear Pharrell toast and fake-sing about the pleasures of dirty Williamsburg coke parties over a beat that sounds like something Fatboy Slim left on the cutting room floor. It’s cool — like there’s nothing more important in life like getting fucked up and banging someone with herpes. Remember the 80’s? Probably not, but trust me, you look worse. Keep reading Ayn Rand everyone, it’s doing you a lot of good.

Yes, it’s all finally, really happening. Please tell me you can play as Justin Bobby.

Please.

Read

Sure, one day you’re hot shit — the next, people only want to watch No Country for Old Men and Star Trek: Voyager. Oh well, you had ‘em for a minute, Heath.

Quick, what’s the first thing you do when you hear someone has died? Stock up on their DVD back catalog. I’m sure that repeated viewings of A Knight’s Tale, Candy, and Brokeback Mountain will help unravel the mystery of Heath Ledger’s death, and make sense of his life. Nice going, world.