Joshua Topolsky

This is just awesome.

As George Orwell points out in “Politics and the English Language,” one need not take on the responsibility of thinking when composing sentences:

You can shirk it by simply throwing your mind open and letting the ready-made phrases come crowding in. They will construct your sentences for you — even think your thoughts for you, to a certain extent — and at need they will perform the important service of partially concealing your meaning even from yourself. It is at this point that the special connexion between politics and the debasement of language becomes clear.

Please read the whole post.

To those of you who claim that you would vote for John McCain — who is consistently on the opposite side of the fence on pretty much every issue that is important to Democrats (Iraq, civil rights, the economy) — over Barack Obama because Hillary didn’t get the nomination: you are a motherfucking imbecile.

Let the Republican bullshit begin.

Terrific piece in the latest Harper’s by Mark Slouka — I highly recommend you all go out and read it. Or stay home. Same difference. Regardless, a passage caught me which really sums up the last eight years, and demonstrates how we need to think about the people we put in power;

At a White House reception a couple of years ago, President George Bush asked Senator-elect Jim Webb how things were going for his son, a Marine serving in Iraq. “I’d like to get them out of Iraq, Mr. President,” Webb replied. “I didn’t ask you that,” the president shot back. “I asked you how your boy was doing.”

Slouka then goes on to detail the outrage the national media exhibited — not towards the President, for his callous and insulting response — but rather towards Webb for his inappropriate remark. His follow-up nails what we should all feel about a president, Bush or otherwise.

But it was left to Kate Zernike, the author of the Times article, to place the cherry atop this shameful confection in the form of a seemingly offhand parenthetical: “(On criticizing the president in his own house, Ms. Baldrige quotes the French: ça ne se fait pas — ‘it is not done.’)”

To which one might reply, in the parlance of my native town: Why the fuck not? Répétez après moi: It ain’t the man’s house. We’re letting him borrow it for a time. And he should behave accordingly — that is, as one cognizant of the honor bestowed upon him-or risk being evicted by the people in favor of a more suitable tenant.

I mean, he’s just zooming around on that multi-touch display like he’s looking for the meaning of life. Check it out! That guy is flying! Someone get him an orange and a happy place.

There’s a great article in the Washington Post which my Uncle Bill sent to me. It’s not long, but you get the idea pretty quickly. If you’ve been wondering why Obama took a hit last night in PA, this sums it up. Why? Because in-between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, the state is filled with terrifically ignorant, misinformed, and just plain dumb racists.

Every time Laura and I drive home, which takes us right through the heart of the state, we see it. It’s frankly a bit scary in some of those areas. The sad part is that a large number of deeply stupid people will affect the outcome of this race. If two terms of Bush didn’t make sense before, they should now.

That’s right. We’re here on our sofa, and we’re liveblogging ever gripping minute of CNN’s coverage of Pennsylvania’s all-important Democratic primary! Stay tuned for tons of updates and really interesting news about Wolf Blitzer’s stupid fucking face.

8:08 PM: Wolf Blizter is now rapping with Cambell Brown. I think he just checked her out. Blitzer is a creep. John King is getting in on it. Keep in mind my belief is that Blitzer is secretly for Clinton. Watch him.

I’m getting the vibe that Brown is for Obama… or McCain.

8:10 PM: Roland Martin is on the attack. Now Brown is calling bullshit on his spending in PA. Why is it so hard to understand that Obama started with a deficit, and was playing catch-up with all that money? Oh wait, these people are inflammatory douchebags.

8:13 PM: King says Obama blew it two weeks ago. I say King is blowing it… right now. Also, his wife is ugly.

8:14 PM: OMFG, this Sharp commercial is so good! I’m telling Laura that we have to get a new copier. I’m also getting some of these cheap-ass dress shirts from Jos A. Bank.

8:17 PM: Laura’s blog might be better than mine. I’m really going to step up the insightful political commentary… now.

Wolf Blitzer would hand this to Clinton given half a chance. You can practically see spittle fly from his mouth as he details the channel’s inability to “call” the race due to its “closeness.”

8:19 PM: White men, white women. White people have never been so important. Women are voting Clinton, hard to believe. Next they’ll tell me that black people are voting for Obama! Oh shit! They are!

Blitzer is quick to dis both Obama and the black vote by saying they only hopped on-board after he won some places.

Now is a good time to note that I prayed to God to let Obama win the race tonight. If Obama does win, it will renew my faith in the Lord, and I will become a devout Jew. If he doesn’t win, it’s proof that God definitely doesn’t exist. I wait on your move, “God.”

8:22 PM: Laura says the fat guy is named Bill Bennett. He’s a prick. I will say this about CNN’s “Battle for Pennsylvania”: black men on the panel seem to be FOR Barack Obama. Paul Begala just mentioned Bush’s DUI.

Donna Brazile, a SUPER DELEGATE says she’s undecided… I’m not buying it. Although earlier she did say she had a sexual crush on Wolf Blitzer

(more…)