To those of you who claim that you would vote for John McCain — who is consistently on the opposite side of the fence on pretty much every issue that is important to Democrats (Iraq, civil rights, the economy) — over Barack Obama because Hillary didn’t get the nomination: you are a motherfucking imbecile.
I mean, he’s just zooming around on that multi-touch display like he’s looking for the meaning of life. Check it out! That guy is flying! Someone get him an orange and a happy place.
There’s a great article in the Washington Post which my Uncle Bill sent to me. It’s not long, but you get the idea pretty quickly. If you’ve been wondering why Obama took a hit last night in PA, this sums it up. Why? Because in-between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, the state is filled with terrifically ignorant, misinformed, and just plain dumb racists.
Every time Laura and I drive home, which takes us right through the heart of the state, we see it. It’s frankly a bit scary in some of those areas. The sad part is that a large number of deeply stupid people will affect the outcome of this race. If two terms of Bush didn’t make sense before, they should now.
That’s right. We’re here on our sofa, and we’re liveblogging ever gripping minute of CNN’s coverage of Pennsylvania’s all-important Democratic primary! Stay tuned for tons of updates and really interesting news about Wolf Blitzer’s stupid fucking face.
8:08 PM: Wolf Blizter is now rapping with Cambell Brown. I think he just checked her out. Blitzer is a creep. John King is getting in on it. Keep in mind my belief is that Blitzer is secretly for Clinton. Watch him.
I’m getting the vibe that Brown is for Obama… or McCain.
8:10 PM: Roland Martin is on the attack. Now Brown is calling bullshit on his spending in PA. Why is it so hard to understand that Obama started with a deficit, and was playing catch-up with all that money? Oh wait, these people are inflammatory douchebags.
8:13 PM: King says Obama blew it two weeks ago. I say King is blowing it… right now. Also, his wife is ugly.
8:14 PM: OMFG, this Sharp commercial is so good! I’m telling Laura that we have to get a new copier. I’m also getting some of these cheap-ass dress shirts from Jos A. Bank.
8:17 PM: Laura’s blog might be better than mine. I’m really going to step up the insightful political commentary… now.
Wolf Blitzer would hand this to Clinton given half a chance. You can practically see spittle fly from his mouth as he details the channel’s inability to “call” the race due to its “closeness.”
8:19 PM: White men, white women. White people have never been so important. Women are voting Clinton, hard to believe. Next they’ll tell me that black people are voting for Obama! Oh shit! They are!
Blitzer is quick to dis both Obama and the black vote by saying they only hopped on-board after he won some places.
Now is a good time to note that I prayed to God to let Obama win the race tonight. If Obama does win, it will renew my faith in the Lord, and I will become a devout Jew. If he doesn’t win, it’s proof that God definitely doesn’t exist. I wait on your move, “God.”
8:22 PM: Laura says the fat guy is named Bill Bennett. He’s a prick. I will say this about CNN’s “Battle for Pennsylvania”: black men on the panel seem to be FOR Barack Obama. Paul Begala just mentioned Bush’s DUI.
Donna Brazile, a SUPER DELEGATE says she’s undecided… I’m not buying it. Although earlier she did say she had a sexual crush on Wolf Blitzer
If you’ve been keeping up on the news lately, you may know there’s a pretty big election going on in America. It’s for President. Anyhow, Laura and I were cold-chilling in the sack this morning, shooting the shit as we’re wont to do. I was reading her some news from the New York Times (which white people like), and came across this shocking, shocking article. It covers the outrageous discrepancies in voting that occured during our primary here. You will be absolutely stunned at the figures they come up with. For instance, in a district of Harlem that was heavily weighted towards Barack Obama (yet represented by a Clinton supporter) the original vote tally of 141 to 0 (to ZERO!) has magically turned into 261 to 136. Just read the article, it’ll blow your brain out through the front of your head.